The Urgency of Awareness

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes!
-Marcel Proust

Image by Truthseeker08 from Pixabay

The last few months have left me questioning everything about our human existence. My emotions are constantly vacillating between stressing over fear of the unknown while simultaneously feeling gratitude for having the luxury of comfortably sheltering in place with food, entertainment and my family in good health.

Living outside of NYC, our circumstances have been more concerning than most areas of the United States. We were among the first to lockdown and are near last to open back up, yet most everyone here is respectful of the rules and understands that social distancing and wearing masks protects others and is a public service that honors our frontline workers.

Honestly, dealing with the threat of the Covid-19 pandemic is beyond enough for most people to endure. In any other circumstance, losing over 105,000 fellow Americans to date would define us for a century. The accompanying economic devastation and disproportionate suffering of the underserved (both financially and health-wise) has catapulted my empathy into overdrive.

It’s not enough to be “not-racist”, we need to be “anti-racist”.

I’ve tried to keep my frustrations to myself and not share them on social media. I try not to mix political discussions with business. I cannot stay silent anymore!

This week was the last straw. The tragic, senseless deaths of Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd have raised my anxiety level as an American and a human being way beyond my comfort level. I’m furious, outraged, disgusted and afraid. As an individual, I feel powerless to make meaningful change in this world. However, staying silent only perpetuates the problem. As many have said, it’s not enough to be “not-racist”, we need to be “anti-racist”.

This is not about me in any way. I will make mistakes in my attempt to say and do the right things. This is my small contribution to raise awareness and offer a resource that very deeply affected the way I view my own belief systems and may influence yours as well.

The Urgency of Awareness

I understand that I benefit from white privilege. I never realized how much until I had the life altering experience of attending a sponsored conference this past January in Budapest, Hungary. The opening session, “Adjusting Your Lens to the Audience: A Workshop on Communicating More Effectively Across All Demographics”, masterfully conducted by Jodi R. Pfarr shaped the conversation for everyone in attendance.

The Urgency Of Awareness Triangle Chart – copyright JPfarr Consulting

The Urgency Of Awareness Triangle Chart – copyright JPfarr Consulting

During our workshop, Jodi Pfarr shared her concepts about normalization. To illustrate this, we were each asked to draw a Triangle Chart featuring 18 pairs of triangles with each pair containing a triangle pointing upward and one pointing downward. The upward facing one represents a group society normalizes with the downward facing triangle representing a group that is not normalized. The simplest example is right hand dominant people vs left hand dominant people. Society normalizes right hand dominant. Basically, all devices are geared to accommodate right-handed people. If you are left-handed you are expected to deal with it and adjust. This video is a brief overview of what the triangles represent and examples of how these differences between groups play out in real life.

Normalized vs. Normal

Jodi emphasized the importance of noting that “normalized” doesn’t mean “normal”. We normalize males in society even though the population statistically has more females. We normalize whites vs people of color, Christians vs all other religions, and middle to upper middle-class people over working class/working poor/impoverished people.

By normalizing these things, our institutional policies are geared to advantage people who fall into the upward facing triangles. This simple fact is an overarching theme that contributes to the disparity the underserved and people of color experience every day in our country.

I cannot begin to understand or explain how people of color and the underserved feel. Jodi shared with us that after a lifetime of not being heard by institutions it fosters distrust. Feeling HEARD is the most important factor. In order to make a change, someone has to feel LISTENED to. If you do not think someone of authority will listen such as teachers, administrators, lawmakers, etc., it leads to anger and frustration. Just think of how aggravating it is to argue your position as a consumer when you feel wronged by a faulty product, poor service or a late delivery when the person with the power to help you couldn’t care less about your complaint. Now imagine how you would feel as a person of color when so many of society’s institutional policies make it difficult for you to get what you fundamentally need to survive. There’s no comparison.

Take the time to learn and explore what it feels like to exist in the downward-pointing triangles.

The Urgency of Awareness

I wish every institutional organization, public, private, and political, could experience Jodi Pfarr’s workshop. Luckily, she wrote a book, “The Urgency of Awareness: Unlocking the Power Within Individual, Organizational and Community Efforts” that is releasing on June 16th. It could not come at a better time.  I highly recommend this book to every person in charge of other people or policy-making in organizations as well as for anyone looking to explore their belief systems to help understand and navigate our increasingly diverse world. I am blessed to have experienced Jodi’s passion in person. I certainly cannot do justice to her expertise by trying to explain it myself. I am forever changed as a result of meeting her. She has truly helped me “adjust my lens”.

I know that I am very far from perfect and I make mistakes all the time in thoughts, words and actions. I am so fortunate to parent two very wise young adults who teach me every day about how differently their generation views race relations and diversity. I thank them for the honest conversations, and we continue to learn and discover together.

I pray that love, hope and faith triumphs in our world and that we can find a way to come together as inhabitants of this planet Earth to embrace each other’s differences and truly LISTEN to each other.

Take action that is meaningful to you.

Don’t just sit back and watch injustice happen. Read. Learn. Have conversations. Donate. Speak truth to power. VOTE– not just for higher office, but for school boards, township councils, county and state officials. Perhaps one day we really will have liberty and justice for all in America. For now, most of all, be kind to everyone.